This Week in TV with Robski

It's been a busy week in TV with the entertainment programs were detailing Taylor Swifts every cunty comment and Justin Beibers every douchey move. Sidebar: isn't it a shame these are the 2 biggest pop stars in the world right now I remember a day when a talented Miss Britney Jeans Spears asked us to hit her baby one more time or Ricky Martin was living the straight vida loca. A day when Christina Aguilera was thin and hot, and Jessica Simpson was more than a second rate shoe designer for Macy's. What happened to the classics? But I digress. TV was a buzz this week and I was there for some of it

The big story of the week was the History Channels epic The Bible. The show was a major hit for the network with over 13 million people tuning in to watch it. I was not one of the 13 million because the only fictional show I watch about someone dying and rising from the dead is The Walking Dead. Right now Bible related shows are hotter than hell (my other joke here was hotter than a priest alone with an alter boy but I thought that joke might seem a bit tasteless). There is a hot religion themed trend happening in television right now with a bible related game show on GSN, a reality show The Sisterhood on TLC about Preachers Wives and one called Preachers Daughters coming to Lifetime. Essentially what I am saying is I salute The Bible producer who is Survivor's Mark Burnett for noticing this trend and cashing in on it. The soundtrack tie-in on Itunes is way classy. I also Salute him for casting his wife Roma Downey as Mother Mary. I never met Mother Mary personally however I would guess Mother Mary was a stunning elegant lamb with a face pulled tighter than dick skin and lips overly injected with silicone only to allow Joseph a pillow to sleep on when there was no room at the inn. I don't recall the psalm of Botox in the bible, but it must have been there. 

 Also in TV this week we were treated to 3 nights of American Idol. This show is going down quicker than I did in the 90s for Madonna tickets that one time. In my opinion it was the same big karaoke fest with a few new judges. The first is a guy that looks like Ellen who offers boring advice but dazzles us with his arm tattoo's... so butch. There is Mariah Carey who patiently waits for her turn to speak which you can tell frustrates her. When it is her turn she has that pageant queen vacant look, you know the one where the other girls took her best answers so she kind looks like she has the farts for a second. Mariah is a pro so she always recovers then reminds us of her struggle "coming up" in the industry and how great she is. Randy is Randy which is fine, I can't fault this man as he played with Journey in the 80's and wore spandex doing so. Then there is Nicki Minaj who is actually very good judge. Nicki brings to the show a bit of crazy, a bit of reality some fantastic lace front wigs and in doing so she is the most interesting thing about the show, well next to Ryan Seacrests hair to Jesus of course. 

The Walking Dead gave us a great episode and some character development. I don't want to give away any spoilers but how can I fault an episode when one of it's main characters grabs a rainbow painted wooden cat and declares "It's too damn gorgeous". There is a lesson to be learned here, even during the zombie apocalypse there is always time for refined taste in home decor. I would assume years into a zombie apocalypse most of local Home Goods stores would have been looted over at this point leaving only Calvin Klein irregulars and Skinny Girl Appletini mix so I understand Michonne risking her life to add a little bit of fabulous to her everyday.


There were also a lot of other shows this week which played like background music and weren't very memorable, but what I took away this week is from coverage of a Pope stepping down in scandal, to hair to Jesus, to Mother Mary's Housewives of Beverly Hills makeover religion was big business. I am not a Hollywood insider but if I was one of those big Hollywood Jews I would be planning as many rip offs of The Bible as possible just to ride the trend and cash in on the all mighty buck. And as we all know the dollar bill does say right on it "in god we trust" so it seems like a natural cross promotion to me. Looking forward to Survivor: Bethlehem.