Robski's Fungul of the Week

It's the end of another week and our time to say fungul to the biggest fuck of the week and this week I am saying fungul to parking space invaders.

Fungul to Blizzard 2013 of course but really fungul to those stupid mother fuckers who watch you spend hours shoveling out your parking space and smile at you. Fungul to the same mother fucker who watches you drag your chair, your trash barrel, your milk crate, your nana's good wig she only wears at christmas placed on a traffic cone or whatever personal effect you use to mark your territory. In olden days we may have been a bit more animal by pissing on our parking spots on Dot Ave to leave our scent and alert others this spot belongs to you so keep moving, but we are an advanced society these days and aside from a few drunk party girls peeing on a sidewalk in the financial district outside The Place (you know who you are) we no longer have the need to pee outside and therefore my default place marker is a trash can.

Now I finish shoveling out my car and move on to run errands AKA drive briskly to Kappy's to re stock my whiskey only to get there to find them closed. You know situation in town is serious when 1. Al Roker is in Boston reporting weather and clever antic-dotes that only sassy Al could deliver and 2. Kappy's is closed. Having Kappy's closed means one thing only, like my mothers cunt we are both going to end up dry on a Saturday night. I then run by 3 local bars to find them all closed in my defeat knowing I can at least get home to finish off the Robitussin only to find a grey late 90s model Crown Victoria in my spot and my trash can on the side walk. THE HORRORS, if I wasn't already defeated enough from Kappygate 2013 now my beautiful spot is now tainted (I said taint) by a beat up grey Crown Vic which somehow stinks of old Pall Malls and cheese. I could let this ruin me but I am Boston born and bred and I know how to handle the situation. Much like the town drunk and my mothers cunt on a Saturday night that old grey clunker had to get plowed in leaving no one happy. It's going to be a tough thaw in the coming weeks and parking spots will be stolen. Just remember you are not alone so say fungul to that stupid buchiach who stole your spot. I firmly believe there is a special place in hell (Chelsea) for parking space invaders.

As I sit here looking over my glass of Scope I just remembered that bottle of Robitussin chilling in the fridge, god I hope Kappy's is open tomorrow.