Academy Award PreDICKtions and stuff by Robski

As any young red blooded American male growing up in the 80's I remember tuning into the 1988 Academy Awards to see Cher arrive in a stunning and demure Bob Mackie gown. I remember being transported to the glamour, the elegance, the hopes and dreams of every young man, that night I was introduced to awards season Hollywood USA.

Well awards season is upon us yet again and while I am no Hollywood insider I am here to offer you my thoughts on what could be a great show this Sunday or what could be a boring hot mess with Seth Macfarlane singing and Hollywood starlets dressed like fire hydrants going to a drag show.

Best Leading Actress: 

Who Should Win: I say Jennifer Lawrence, yes she was great in Silver Linings playing every high school girlfriend I had (sidebar: now we know why I was attracted to lets call them "damaged" women) but lets cut to the chase she earned the Oscar as everyone's favorite underdog Katniss Everdeen. Any girl who can shoot a bow & arrow and string along Thor's brother and the square jawed kid from The Kids Are Alright gets my vote. Plus she played Mystique in X-men. BAM! my winner

Who will win: What am I Miss Cleo? How do I know, if I was psychic I would be a millionaire living on Tan Penis Island (we miss you 30 Rock) sipping on something fattening instead of a black coffee. My best guess is Jennifer Lawrence could take it, but Jennifer and Jessica Chastain could cancel each other out giving the award to the old broad in Amour.

Best Leading Actor

Who Should Win: I say Bradley Cooper not for his movie roles but for successfully pulling of the role of a lifetime, a straight man in Hollywood.

Who Will Win: Daniel Day Lewis I did not see Lincoln because as a gay we were given the task from our leader (Hi Elton) to see Les Miserables 20 times each this year but I hear he was good in it and he has a big Hollywood Jew backing him. I can't really back Hugh Jackman because it didn't feel like a stretch watching him sing and dance in period costumes. Sorry to use the word period Hugh, I just threw up in my mouth a little too. 

Best Supporting Actress:

Should/Will Win: Anne Hathaway, her diet plan for this role was legendary. She lost half her body weight in weeks, got her hair chopped off with a knife and was photographed stepping out of a car without underwear showing her Les Miss to the world that is both fabulous and gangsta. Werq it Miss Annie, the award is yours

Best Supporting Actor:

Should Win: I am going with Deniro because I know the pain of being called Bobbie by people we don't know and think we are close friends.

Will Win: No clue really, either Tommy Lee Jones because he has a big Hollywood Jew backing or my pal Bobbie D.

Best Director:

Should Win: Ben Affleck BOSTON FUCKIN RULES. But he wasn't nominated, you Academy voters are wicked chuckleheads don't let me catch ya hanging out in Dot

Will Win: Spielberg see above Best Supporting Actor "Will Win" reasoning

Best Picture:

Should/Will Win: Argo. BOSTON FUCKING RULES. I didn't see any Dunkin Donuts in the movie but I'll forgive him it was in the 70s so people were probably getting coffee at Marylou's on the south shore or The Big Dipper or the North Shore. Jeter sucks, Go Boston!